We Need Close Friends

John Bradley "JJ" Jackson

30 Apr 2026 • 2 min read

In my last post, I talked about the four types of friends. Acquaintances. Casual friends. Close friends. Lifelong friends.

Now I want to zero in on one category that matters more than most people realize.Close friends. Not lifelong friends. Not casual connections. Close friends. And here is the point. Close friends are not just nice to have. They are a competitive advantage.

In life. And in your career. Close friends are the people who know the real story. Not the LinkedIn or Instagram versions. Not the polished pitch. The real one.

They tell you the truth. Even when you do not want to hear it. They see your blind spots. And they are willing to point them out. They are there when things break. And things always break.

In my years working with founders, executives, and students, I have seen a pattern. The people who succeed over the long haul are rarely alone. They have a small circle. Not large. Not flashy. But real. They have close friends.

Here is the problem. Close friends are becoming harder to find and keep. Oddly, we are more connected than ever. But less connected where it counts. We have hundreds of contacts. Thousands of followers. Endless notifications. But fewer people who we can call when things go sideways.

That is not an accident. Close friendships require something most people avoid. Time. Vulnerability. Consistency. You cannot shortcut it. You cannot outsource it. You cannot scale it.

You build close friendships the same way you build trust in business. Slowly. Over time. Through shared experiences. And yes, sometimes through adversity.

Reciprocity in friendships is the essence of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It is the give and take, the ebb and flow of support, love, and understanding between friends. Imagine a seesaw: sometimes one friend needs more support, and the other provides it, but over time, the balance evens out. It's not about keeping score or counting favors but about a mutual sense of care and consideration. (Source: Hope Harbor)

So how do you build them?

Start small. Just like any relationship. One conversation. One shared experience. Then show up. Again and again. Be willing to go first. Share something real. Not everything. But something. Listen more than you talk. Keep your word. And be there when it matters. Not just when it is convenient.

Here is another truth. Not all lifelong friends are close friends. And not all close friends will be lifelong. But while they are in your life, they matter. A lot.

As I settle into my next chapter, I am thinking less about how many people I know. And more about how many people really know me. That is a different question. And a better one.

P.S. Consider a routine phone call or zoom with close friends. Schedule it and make it habit. Frequency could be once a month or more or less. Yes, "911" calls to close friends are appropriate, but routine conversation keeps the relationship strong.