Unscrupulous negotiators will try almost anything to win in a negotiation including lying, throwing tantrums, and verbally abusing the other party. Why is winning so important to them?

It has long been thought that mean people such as this are just cold, detached, and unemotional—we have thought that they did not understand the damage that they can do to others. A recent study about “aggressive conduct disorder” at the University of Chicago confirmed that bullies actually enjoy the discomfort or pain that they inflict on others.

Rooted in this desire to hurt others is a deep-set feeling of inferiority from a lack of love and affection in childhood. Thus, bullies are punishing others for the love that they did not receive.

Unscrupulous negotiators are bullies who must win at all costs. They don’t care about the interests of the other party, nor do they value relationships since their needs trump everything else. They learn that aggressive behaviors help them get what they want; surprised by the aggression, many people back down and let the bully win.

And this is how you can beat the bully at his or her game. Stand firm and call them out. Let them know that the tactic is plainly visible and that you won’t stand for it. Unaccustomed to the challenge, the aggressive negotiator will invariably back down.

When confronting an aggressive negotiator, document everything and hold him or her to their commitment. If you don’t stand firm, you may not get what you negotiated. Don’t expect to have a long term relationship with this type person. Do business and move on.

John Bradley Jackson
© Copyright 2008 All rights reserved.

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